No Google in China- WTF? 3/18/11

The dates of these blogs are messed up since I wasn't able to access the blog for two weeks.

I’m a new person. I slept off all the drugs I took to fall asleep during the flight and now I’m ready for some craziness. Yesterday we landed, it’s amazing how fast a flights is when you’re unconscious. We drive from the airport was interesting. Since they cut down trees during the cultural revolution in the 60s, the wind is very bad in Beijing. They have planted rows of trees everywhere. It’s dark and grey here, very desolate- reminds me of Pittsburgh hehe. It’s almost spring and the pollution blocks the sun. The few trees that have leaves are covered with dirt. It rarely rains since the Gobi Desert is nearby. We walked down a street full of food vendors on our way to the hotel. Lots of interesting food- scorpions, snakes, larvae. Too early for me to try it now since I can barely carry on a conversation. We ate some dinner at a restaurant with people who don’t eat meat- good luck starving here. Finally made it to the hotel which is BOMB! I can get used to this 5 star living. Passed out around 9 to get the drugs out of my system.

Sometime the following day...

I Ate Ass in China

This morning Andy was up at 4 and got me up at 5 so we decided to go swimming. Before the pool we needed to pay for the internet so Andy thought it was a good idea to walk down in our robes because “there’s no one awake at 530”. Yes there are. There we were, two Americans in our robes in the lobby standing in line. I couldn’t take it anymore so I hid behind a column as Andy with his hairy chest terrified all the Chinese customers. Jumped online and we can’t access Facebook or Blogspot since it’s a Google site. What the hell? I missed that memo! Oh well, I didn’t need to be online anyways. Swimming was awesome and so was breakfast in our fab hotel.

We first hit up Tiananmen Square which led to the Forbidden City. It was huge and amazing and

we walked around forever. I kept imagining the huge fight scenes in Chinese movies. Andy and I were both asked for pictures with the locals- reminiscent of India. Then we met up with Andy’s friend Nelson who’s been in Beijing for 5 years now. We finally caught a cab after an hour of available ones driving past us. The traffic is pretty nuts- whenever you have 20MM people in one city it’s going to be a little crazy. He took us to a nice area with shops and restaurants then we ate lunch on a rooftop. The meal was awesome! We had fried tofu with Sechuan spices (they numb your lips and have a citrus/peppery flavor), snow peas with bacon, fried rice, amaebi, duck, and of course some rice wine (Soju) and beers. The alcohol resulted in me having to use the restroom, the public restroom that is. It’s a squat-to and there’s no toilet paper. Luckily Andy found out about the toilet paper before he had an emergency.

Next was The Great Leap, a German microbrew that was delicious. The brewer was concerned when we showed up because he didn’t want to be in Lonely Planet. He was kind of a dick, but he had a Cleveland Indians t-shirt on so that explains it. We had a couple beers on the patio and went downtown. We walked around the trendy shops- one clothing store had kittens in the window. Along the way we saw a sign for donkey meat and you know Andy jumped on that. I took a bite to taste it. I’m not a huge red meat fan and ass didn’t taste better- donkey check. We stopped to have some cocktails and my jet lag got the best of me- I passed out at the table. Finally it was time to go. Andy finished my vodka drinks so he was good to go. He passed out in the taxi. I woke him up telling him the driving is passing our hotel (he passed the hotel with the same name but in a different location). Andy, not knowing what was going on, told the cab driver “our hotel our hotel!” pointing as we drove away. The driver yelled at him which made me crack up since I was just fucking with him. Then they argued over the fee. It’s not a trip unless Andy argues with a local.